Quran Garden

Do you suffer from sexual frustration?  Do you look at questionable content on your screen?  Do you have porn addiction? In today’s Tafsir, we explain why this happens and give you the heavenly solution God prescribed so you can bring peace to your life.      

Session 599

Chapter 4

Verse 34

a continuation

Men are the caretakers of women, because of the advantage God has granted some over others, and by virtue of their spending out of their wealth. Righteous wives are devout, safeguarding their husbands’ interests in their absence as God has guarded them. As for those wives whose high-handedness you fear, admonish them, keep away from them in the bed, and beat them. Then if they obey you, do not seek any course of action against them. Indeed God is the most-high, the great. (Chapter 4: Verse 34)

Every action you take passes through three stages: the first is perception, second is feeling, and the third is action.  Take the example of a beautiful flower.  You are walking down the street and pass by a neighbour’s garden.  The smell of a rose catches your attention—that is perception.  If you admire and cherich the rose, that is a feeling.  Then you move to pick the rose so you can take it home and enjoy the smell in your living room.  That is the third step: action.

We ask: When does God’s law (Sharia) intervene? It always intervenes at the third stage of action.  To continue with our example, you are free to smell the rose, look at it, and take a picture.  You can admire the rose, dream about it, and tell your family.  However, the moment you move to pick the rose from your neighbour’s garden, God says, ‘Stop! the rose is not yours.’  If you want it, either ask your neighbour’s permission, go buy one, or plant your own.

When you study Sharia, you will find one excpetion to this rule: the opposite sex.  In this particular case, Allah intervens at the first stage of perception.  Our Creator knows that if you perceive beauty –in other words, you look at the opposite sex- feelings and desire arise, and when such desire exist, the push towards action is very storng.  The drive to action is particularly strong in men.  As a man, you are chemically and hormonally composed such that if you perceive beauty, you will desire it, and such desire will create physical changes that demand release.  Allah wants to spare you this vicious cycle, thus in matters of sexuality, God’s teachings intervene at the very beginning of the matter.  God says,

Tell believing men to lower their glances and guard their private parts: that is purer for them. God is well aware of everything they do. And tell believing women that they should lower their eyes and guard their private parts and not display their adornments – except for what normally shows – and draw their head-coverings across their breasts. (from 24:30-31)

Why? Because if you perceive, you will feel, and if you feel, your sexual drive will push you to act; action, in this case, will wreck people’s honor and ruin society.  If you suppress your feeling and do not act, you will likely suffer psychological problems.  Both outcomes are no good.  Thus, Allah gave you the perfect solution.  Do not look at the beauty and sexuality of the opposite sex, on the street or on your screen. 

Let’s get back to the flower example.  God prevented you from taking your neighbour’s rose, so you moved on.  Did it cause disturbance in your psyche or raise your hormones? No.  Most likely you would forget about that it in five minutes.  The same goes for a sports car or a lovely home.  But when a man sees a beautiful woman and she enters his feelings, he might be thinking about her days later, because chemical and hormonal bodily changes took effect.  God says,

Righteous wives are devout, safeguarding their husbands’ interests in their absence as God has guarded them

Allah, the Creator, set laws and methods that guard society.  The law: no premarital sexual relations.  The method: do not expose yourself to perceptions that lead to the feelings that demand action.  Why? Because if I act , I cause corruption and if I do not, I become troubled. This is the meaning behind, “as God has guarded them.”  It means we follow the method of our Creator to guard society.  We do not follow the west, or invent our own.  God says,

Say to the believing women that they should lower their eyes and guard their private parts and not display their adornments – except for what normally shows – and draw their head-coverings across their breasts. They should only display their adornments to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers, their brothers’ sons, their sisters’ sons, other women, those they own as slaves, their male attendants who have no sexual desire, or children who still have no awareness of women’s private parts. ; they should not stamp their feet so as to draw attention to any hidden charms. Believers, all of you, turn to God so that you may prosper. (24:31)

Our beloved Muhammad also offered you solution.  He, peace be upon him, said to the Muslim youth: "Whoever amongst you is capable of providing for a family, then let him or her marry, for indeed it lowers the gaze and protects the private parts.  And whoever cannot marry, he or she should fast for it will diminish desire." When you reduce the consumption of food, you decrease the energy available to fuel materialistic desires and greed; this, in turn, helps you overcome the drive to sin.  

Now, we come to the most conterversial and misunderstood part of this Aya, “As for those wives whose high-handedness you fear, admonish them, keep away from them in the bed, and beat them.”  Join us next week as we take a deep dive.  Click the subscribe button and the bell icon so you do not miss it.