Quran Garden

In today's Tafsir, we explain how breastfeeding establishes family relations and kinship in a way similar to birth and blood ties.  We also explain how breastfeeding can rob future families of God's blessing and cause more damage than good.  The next ten minutes could help steer your family away from haram relations.  Let's dive right in.   

Session 567

Chapter 4

Verse 23

a continuation

You are forbidden to take as wives your mothers, daughters, sisters, paternal and maternal aunts, the daughters of brothers and daughters of sisters, and your foster mothers who breastfed you, and your foster sisters from breastfeeding, your wives' mothers, the stepdaughters in your care- those born of women with whom you have consummated marriage, if you have not consummated the marriage, then you will not be blamed- wives of your begotten sons, two sisters simultaneously- with the exception of what is past: God is most forgiving and merciful-  (Chapter 4: Verse 23)

Why does Allah prohibit marrying "Your foster mothers who breastfed you"?  Because through nursing, the woman contributes to forming the cells of the suckling infant; thus, there is a part of her in him, giving her the sanctity of motherhood. 

Scholars have differed on the amount of breastfeeding that would constitute the formation of kinship and, by extension, prohibition in marriage.  Some allowed marriage if a baby was nursed only once or twice by a woman.  However, Abu Hanifa deemed any woman who breastfed an infant even once as prohibited for marriage.  Most scholars concluded that a woman becomes prohibited after she has nursed the baby five fulfilling feedings or if the infant nursed from her for a day and a night. 

Keep in mind that all breastfeeding must occur during the nursing period, which is defined in the Quran as the first two years of a baby's life.  God says in the 233^rd Aya of Surah Al-Baqarah, "Mothers suckle their children for two whole years if they wish to complete the term."  Suckling beyond two years of age does not count towards kinship, as the boy's growth is dependent on solid food instead of breast milk. 

A woman was brought before the Caliph Othman, may God be pleased with him.  She had just given birth to a beautiful baby girl.  But her husband was very upset because they got married only six months ago!  How could she have given birth only six months after marriage!?  She must have had relations before the wedding!

Othman listened to the man and his wife.  The woman was in tears and repeatedly denied doing anything wrong. 

Othman considered the facts and agreed with the husband.  Sadly, this seemingly good woman had done something terrible and should be punished for adultery.   

Imam Ali Ibn Abi Taleb, the Prophet's cousin, overheard the conversation.  He went to Othman and said: "Are you accusing this poor woman of adultery?" Othman replied, "Well, of course, she gave birth after being married for only six months." Imam Ali said, "My dear brother, Haven't you heard what God said in the Quran?" Othman asked: "What do you mean?" Imam Ali started reciting two verses, one from Surah Al-Baqarah and one from Surah Al-Ahqaf:

Mothers can suckle their children for two whole years if they wish to complete the term, and the father must bear clothing and maintenance in a fair manner.  No one should be burdened with more than they can bear: no mother shall be made to suffer harm on account of her child, nor any father on account of his.  (from 2:233)

Imam Ali continued,  

We have commanded man to be good to his parents: his mother struggled to carry him and struggled to give birth to him- his bearing and weaning took a full thirty months.  (from 46:15)

Ali explained to Othman, may God be pleased with them, that God informed us in the first Aya that breastfeeding can last up to 24 months.  He also told us in the second Aya that the combined duration of pregnancy and breastfeeding can be thirty months.  If we subtract the 24 months of breastfeeding from the 30 months of the pregnancy and breastfeeding combined, we are left with a pregnancy that can be as short as six months. 

After hearing these verses, Othman said: "By God, I did not pay attention to this."  He brought the husband and wife back, sat down with them, and explained God's word.  He congratulated them on the newborn and for their new, beautiful family.

Such was Ali's insight; may Allah be pleased with him.  A person –even a companion as dear as Othman- may be aware of one verse and overlook others.  Sometimes, a ruling involves more than one verse. 

Most people argue that no Muslim today can attain the status of the companions in deeds or understanding.  We answer: You are wrong.  God did not reserve wisdom and sound judgment for a specific time or people while depriving others.  Allah's blessings extend to all times.  I would like to remind you of His words in the following Aya:

and the Forerunners, the Forerunners!  Those are the ones near-stationed to God, in Gardens of Bliss: A good many of them are from among the first generations And a few from the later ones. (56:10-14)

Muslims in our generation also have the chance to excel, comprehend, and derive rulings from the Quran if they apply themselves.   

This brings us back to the verse.  To establish kinship by nursing: one or two feedings—that is one view; ten feedings is another; five satiating feedings is a third view.  The consensus among the majority of scholars is to adopt the median: five fulfilling feedings during the first two years of life.  If the nursing occurs outside this period, it is said the child has transitioned to food, gaining bodily nutrients from it.

But nursing matters are intricate!  Our beloved Muhammad said, "What is prohibited by lineage is prohibited by nursing."  So prohibitions by nursing include the mother by nursing, daughter by nursing, sister by nursing, paternal and maternal aunts, and so on.  It is a complex issue requiring every family's vigilance.  Why?  Because ignoring or dismissing it could rob future couples of divine blessings.  God's blessings are continually available for you, but you must be worthy to receive them.  You cannot benefit if your receiver is faulty.  Imagine a radio station broadcasting amazing shows, but your radio at home is broken.  One of the essential requirements to receive God's blessings is for your household to be established on lawful grounds.  The food should be lawful, the money earned in a Halal manner, and the union of husband and wife should be based on lawful grounds.  

Many people inadvertently fall into the prohibited due to negligence and cavalier attitudes about breastfeeding.  We remind every parent: You are meticulous about your children's physical health, keeping records of their birth certificates and vaccination schedules against diphtheria, polio, and more.   Why don't you, the family of Islam, include a note in this file to guard your children's future relations!?  Record who breastfed the newborn beside the mother.  When it's time for marriage, you can tell the registrar: This is his file, and such-and-such woman breastfed him on such and such dates.  This way, we establish the new family on sound foundations, rather than surprising a couple who have been married for years and had children, only to discover that they shared breastfeeding.  

Nowadays, wet nurses are no longer necessary, as infant formula fulfills the purpose.  We no longer involve ourselves in complications that could lead to a person accidentally marrying his sister by nursing or a mother by nursing. 

Tune in next week as we continue with the women prohibited in marriage and tell the story of Zayd, the kidnapped boy who ended up in the house of our beloved Muhammad.  Hit the subscribe button and share it with your family and friends.