Quran Garden

In today's Tafsir, we examine why Islam has specific guidelines regarding whom you can and cannot marry.  These rules are not just faith-based; they're backed by time-honored wisdom and modern scientific findings.  If you want strong, healthy children, the next 10 minutes will surely help.  Sit back and listen.   

Session 566

Chapter 4

Verse 23

You are forbidden to take as wives your mothers, daughters, sisters, paternal and maternal aunts, the daughters of brothers and daughters of sisters, and your foster mothers who breastfed you, and your foster sisters from breastfeeding, your wives' mothers, the stepdaughters in your care- those born of women with whom you have consummated marriage, if you have not consummated the marriage, then you will not be blamed- wives of your begotten sons, two sisters simultaneously- with the exception of what is past: God is most forgiving and merciful-  (Chapter 4: Verse 23)

At times, Islamic rulings confirm practices, prohibitions, and customs the pagans used to abide by during pre-Islamic times.  When God legislates, He does so because pure human nature necessitates it, not because the pre-Islamic pagans did or did not do it.  Interestingly, even non-believers avoided some of the relationships mentioned in the verse.  This hints that parts of their natural disposition stayed intact despite the prevailing societal corruption.

Who has the authority to permit and prohibit?  Allah does.  Despite their ignorance and lack of religious guidance, pre-Islamic societies refrained from marrying close relatives such as mothers, daughters, and sisters.  Why?  God says,

Indeed We have sent you with the truth as a bearer of good news and as a warner; and there is not a nation but a warner has passed in it.  (35:24)

The divine guidance from the heavens has been with humanity since day one, as evidenced by God's words,

He said, "Go down from it, all of you, as enemies to one another!  But when guidance comes to you from Me, all those who follow My guidance will not go astray and will not be miserable." (20:123)

From the moment Allah created Adam and Eve, they were given a comprehensive code of conduct.  Thus, the persistence of certain practices that Islam later approved were actually remnants of earlier religions, embedded into cultural traditions and the natural instincts of humans.  Nations continued these customs without realizing they were previously established by divine law.

Modern science has helped us understand many of God's teachings.  Studies have shown that offspring, whether in plants, animals, or humans, are strongest when the male and female are genetically diverse.  Conversely, when related in blood, the offspring tend to be weaker.  This is why farmers and breeders often introduce genetic diversity from afar to cross-breed.  Prophet Muhammad advised, "Marry outside your kin; otherwise, you may weaken."  He, peace be upon him, said: "Do not marry close relatives, for the offspring will be frail."  So, the Prophet encourages you to marry outside of close relatives to ensure healthier children.  Tribes who intermarried over generations often faced mental, sexual, and immune weaknesses.  This is the essence of the Messenger's advice: "Marry outside the tribe to prevent frailty."

Pre-Islamic societies observed this reality and practiced it to increase their overall health and strength.  The principle is echoed today in agricultural and animal husbandry, where cross-breeding leads to better yield and livestock.  For quality produce, like watermelons, we import seeds from different regions to ensure robust crops.  Some farmers might balk at the high cost of these seeds, but the results prove worthwhile.  If a farmer continually uses seeds from his own crops for future planting, the yield weakens.  The same principle applies to animals and humans.  The Arabs noticed that the best warriors often came from non-native lineage, benefiting from the strong traits of the two races.  They used to say, "No one crushes the heads of heroes like the son of a foreign woman."   

This brings us back to the verse: God's prohibition against marrying one's mother, sister, and other close relatives, while an ethical matter, is also a biological one.  He says,

You are forbidden to take as wives your mothers, daughters, sisters, paternal and maternal aunts, the daughters of brothers, and daughters of sisters.

Mothers are the origin, and daughters are the lineage, while brothers and sisters share many genes from the father.  Matters are too intertwined in close kinship, and Allah wants a strong progeny full of health, not disease.

Another critical aspect is psychological.  A man often marries a woman out of love, but then life happens, problems arise, and hearts change.  God says,

If you wish to replace one wife with another, do not take any of her bride-gift back, even if you have given her a great amount of gold.  Would you take it by false accusation and by committing a blatant sin?  (4:20)

What would the family dynamics be like in a marriage between a man and his aunt, if they head for divorce?  The expectation is to maintain loyalty, love, and family ties.  The same applies to mothers, daughters, sisters, and so on.  Thus, Allah instructs you to keep these matters away from the potential pitfalls of married life.

We also advise against reciprocal marriages, where two men marry each other's sisters.  Do not marry your sister to a man just because you will marry his sister.  A dispute in one marriage will undoubtedly spill into the other, even if the other couple is happy.  These types of problems affect the entire family.  Imagine how a mother would feel seeing a stranger happily married to her son while her daughter suffers in her own marriage and is treated badly.  What would the situation be?  Surely, it would widen the orbit of friction where there should be none.   

The prohibitions in the Aya naturally extend to the ascendants and descendants in kin.  For example, the prohibition of marrying mothers includes grandmothers and great-grandmothers from both the father's and mother's sides.  It also includes what emanates from them in aunts and sisters.  When a woman becomes your wife, her mother becomes forbidden to you in marriage.  "Your daughters" also includes daughters of your children and everything derived from them.   

Tune in next week as we discuss the issue of breastfeeding and how it affects future marriages.  We will tell you the incredible story of Imam Ali and the caliph Uthman; may God be pleased with them.  You would not want to miss it!  Subscribe and hit the bell icon today.