Quran Garden

When you go to Hajj or Umrah, you follow the example of a brave and loving woman: our mother Hajar.  Today, we explore her story and the story of our beloved Abraham, and explore the wonderful roles of men and women in society. 

Session 595

Chapter 4

Verse 32

a continuation

Do not wish for what God has given to some of you more than others.  To men belongs a share of what they have earned, and to women a share of what they have earned.  You should ask God for some of His bounty: He has full knowledge of everything.

(Chapter 4: Verse 32)

A man's domain involves working outside the home, such as building, farming, and fighting, and requires decisiveness and firmness.  In contrast, a woman's role in raising children, caring for the family, and managing the household requires compassion and tenderness.  We find a wonderful example of such roles in the story of our beloved Hajjar and Abraham, peace be upon them. 

On a scorching hot summer day, our beloved Abraham arrived at the empty valley of Mecca with his wife Hajar, carrying her infant Ishmael.  Abraham found a place to settle his family near the location of God's Sacred House, and planned to return to the area of modern-day Jerusalem the next day.  With the sun beating down on their heads, Hajar looked around and saw nothing but sand.  There was no water, no plants, and no people.  As Abraham got ready to leave, she stopped him and asked him to stay.  He, peace be upon him, said nothing.  Hajar, may God be pleased with her, grabbed his clothes and pulled him back.  She pointed out that there was no food or water for them!  Abraham, again, was silent.  Finally, Hajar asked, "How can you leave us here!?  Is this your decision, or did God instruct you to leave us here?" Abraham answered, "My Lord directed me to this place," to which she replied, "Feel free to leave, Abraham.  God will never abandon us."

Hajar let go of all her worries because she knew that Abraham obeyed God's command.  This is faith at its summit and a conviction more powerful than a mother's instinct.  Hajar, through her faith, felt at peace as the father of her child traveled, leaving her in the barren desert.  She did not believe in Abraham, but she believed in the Lord of Abraham.

Now that she was alone with her Infant, Hajar left the location of the Ka'aba to look for food and water.  She looked to the sky: maybe she could spot birds to guide her to water.  But there were none.  Nearby, she saw two hills, Al-Safa and Al-Marwa.  She put Ishmael down and rushed to Al-Safa, climbed to the top, then looked around, hoping to spot a caravan or water.  When she saw nothing, she ran towards the Marwa hill and did the same.  Hajar knew that there was not much she could do, as her son was crying louder from thirst.  She completed seven rounds between the two hills in the hopes of finding a bird, a person…..anything!  She was becoming desperate.  When she climbed Al-Marwa for the fourth time, a sound grabbed her attention.  Hajar fell silent and listened closer: Ishmael's cry had changed!  His hunger and thirst were so severe that he began to squirm.  Panicked, she ran down to Ishmael's side and was shocked to find water seeping from the sands where he was kicking his feet.  She pooled some of the water with her hands and drank.  Water kept seeping, then gushing out.  Hajar drank her fill, then breastfed her son.

Those who go for Hajj or Umrah and perform the seven rounds know the length a woman is willing to go for her child.  It was the ultimate expression of compassion and tenderness; her son needed a drink.  It was as if Allah said to her, "You have strived as required, but I will provide your sustenance from where you do not expect.  You ran between Safa and Marwah, but the water springs beneath your son's feet." Thus, her words proved true: "He will not abandon us." If her striving had brought the water, we would all think that striving brings sustenance.  But Allah wants you to learn a lesson: always work hard, but do not rely on the work to feed your family; rely on the Provider above.  This is what we learned from our mother, Hajar.

When the moment of severe trial and sacrifice arrived, Hajar stepped back, and it was Abraham's turn to demonstrate his resolve, fatherhood, and prophethood.   He saw in a dream that he was to sacrifice his son.  God says,

When the boy was old enough to work alongside his father, Abraham said, "My dear son, I have seen in my dream that I should offer you in sacrifice. So think about this and tell me your view!" He said, "Father, do as you are commanded and, God willing, you will find me steadfast." (Chapter 37:Verse 102)

Where was the mother in this?  She disappeared because such a trial is unsuited to her emotions and tenderness.  God says,

Do not wish for what God has given to some of you more than others.  To men belongs a share of what they have earned, and to women a share of what they have earned.

Take note that the Aya under study prohibits wishing for what Allah has favored others with, but encourages you to ask God for His bounty and blessing.

Some people find this puzzling and ask, "Why does God discourage us from desiring what He has given to others?"  Isn't it true that God's blessings are available to all?  We answer: read the Aya carefully, and it will explain itself.  Allah warned you against wishing but encouraged you to ask.  To 'wish' is to seek something impossible or contrary to the prevailing custom.  Asking through supplication, however, is the domain of seeking what is attainable.  A poet once said,

Oh, if only youth would return one day, so I could tell it what old age has done!

The poet wished for youth to return; can this happen?  It is impossible, regardless of how desirable it may be.  

Since Allah has granted different blessings to different people, it's best to ask Him to enhance your own unique talents rather than wishing for what others have.  Let me clarify.  Listen to this Aya,

Allah has favored some of you over others in provision (from chapter 16:verse 71)

When hearing this verse, most people think about money and rush to ask God to be as wealthy as their cousin or friend.  We ask: what is provision?  Is it just money?  No!  Provision is everything beneficial.  Patience, knowledge, courage, and physical strength are all provisions, among many others.  Thus, when you hear the Aya,

Do not wish for what God has given to some of you more than others.  To men belongs a share of what they have earned, and to women a share of what they have earned.

You should realize that no one is favored in all things, and no one is favored over in all things.   Are men better, or women?  God did not specify.  Why?  Because every person is superior in something and surpassed by others in something else.  Men and women are complementary in talents, and this is what moves society forward, just as gears move a car.

Consider such gears.  You will find that when a protruding gear fits into a recessed one, motion occurs.  If you place a protruding gear against another protruding gear, the machine jams.  The sword in the warrior's hand strikes and kills, but if an expert blacksmith does not sharpen, hone, and polish it, the sword cannot fulfill its task.  The blacksmith may never go to battle, or may be a total coward, but without him, the war is lost.  Similar are night and day, men and women, winter and summer.  Constant winter is the Arctic, and continuous summer is the deserts.  Both are barren!  

And as long as talents are complementary, I do not envy someone who excels over me in a field, because I need them.  In fact, I want them to excel more so that my life becomes better.  I appreciate the blessings Allah has granted others.  He says, "God has given to some of you more than others" without specifying, because we are all blessed.

Your task, as a woman or a man, is to be righteous and fulfill the purpose for which you were created.  Why?  Because on the Day of Judgment, Allah will ask you about your specific task and responsibility, and your performance will determine reward and punishment.  Our beloved Muhammad said, "Each of you is a guardian, and each of you is accountable for those under your care." 

When a nursing mom is sick, the father is lost.  Can he breastfeed the child?  Of course not, because it is not his task.  If you are wise, you would respect Allah's decree in His creation and recognize the gifts He granted you, ask for more without wishing for what the opposite sex has.  The phrase, "Do not wish for what God has given to some of you more than others.  To men belongs a share of what they have earned, and to women a share of what they have earned.  ," is the ultimate expression of gender equality. 

God concludes with, "He has full knowledge of everything." Allah is vast in knowledge; He distributed talents among His creation so that society complements itself and offers peace and prosperity to all.    

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