Quran Garden

In today's Tafsir, we dive into timeless tales of wise women.  Discover how a matchmaker's discerning eye aided the king of Kindah's pursuit of beauty.  Experience the heartfelt advice of a mother to her daughter on the eve of marriage.  Let's begin. 

Session 594

Chapter 4

Verse 32

a continuation

Do not wish what God has given to some of you more than others- men have the portion they have earned; and women the portion they have earned.  You should ask God for some of His bounty: He has full knowledge of everything.  (Chapter 4: Verse 32)

if you want to construct a building, you would need sand, cement, bricks, wood, and iron.  These inanimate objects are all building materials that collectively contribute to the building, but each plays a distinct role: cement, gypsum, sand, and wood.  You cannot use one in place of another; otherwise, the building would collapse.  

God created the universe with many species, each comprising different types, and within each type are individual organisms.  The human species is divided into two sexes, male and female.  When you see such division, you should know that they share the purpose of the species, which is our humanity, but differ in the purpose of each sex.  If genders were identical, they would not have been divided into two types in the first place.  Masculinity, represented by men, and femininity, represented by women, share a common purpose as humans, but differ in their types.  If you try to force one type into the role of the other, the society, just as the building, would collapse.

Who is the genius who looked at two different sexes and then said one is exactly like the other!?  Let's consider time, which is the container of events.  The day is a container, and so is the night.   However, can you say they are the same?  The night's events are characterized by tranquility and rest, while the day is marked by movement and work.  Try to reverse these roles, work at night and sleep while the sun is shining in your room, then tell me how you feel after one week! 

Allah draws our attention to something we may disagree on by pointing to things we universally acknowledge.  We can all agree that the night is ideal for rest and tranquility, while the day is best suited for work.  Most happy and productive people do this.  We ask: what do night and day represent?  Are they the same, opposites, adversaries, or complementary?   They actually complement each other because a restful night's sleep enables you to tackle the day's activities.  Just try working a full day after skipping sleep the night before!

Likewise, if you claim that masculinity and femininity should be identical in work, movement, and type, we say to you: This is foolish.  God says,

By the enshrouding night, and the day when it reveals, by His creation of male and female!  The ways you take differ greatly.(92:1-4)

Thus, we understand that humanity is divided into two types: masculinity and femininity.  They are different, but they share a purpose and certain characteristics.  What do we share?  The dignity of humanity and the freedom of belief.  No man can force a woman to adopt a belief, as we clearly illustrated by the examples of Noah's wife, Lot's wife, and Pharaoh's wife.  A man has no authority over a woman – or vice versa- when it comes to what to think and what to believe.   

We saw how Umm Salama, may God be pleased with her, advised the Messenger of Allah during the expedition of Hudaybiyyah and saved the Muslims from terrible division.  We also know the story of Bilqees, the Queen of Sheba, who managed to masterfully and peacefully resolve a matter that men relinquished.  These were women who, before and after Islam, possessed originality of opinion and wise counsel in their respective domains.

Once upon a time, the king of Kindah heard about the captivating beauty of Umm Iyas, the daughter of Awf, and he decided to seek her in marriage.  To learn more, He summoned a woman from Kindah named Isam, who was known for her refinement, eloquence, and intellect, and said to her, "Go and find out about the daughter of Awf for me." Isam traveled to meet Umm Iyas's mother and explained the purpose of her matchmaking.  The mother called her daughter over, saying, "Your aunt is here to inquire about you.  Be open and share your appearance, character, and how you express yourself.  Answer any questions she may have."

Once alone with Umm Iyas, Isam observed her closely, as instructed.  Impressed by what she saw, she famously remarked, "Deception ceases when the veil is lifted." This became a well-known saying when the truth becomes evident.

Isam returned to the king, who eagerly asked, "What news do you bring, O Isam?" She replied, "The churning produced rich butter!" meaning her mission yielded results.

"Tell me," he eagerly said.

She replied, "I will tell you truthfully and honestly," then described her from her hair to her feet in a way that enticed the king, who sent for her father, proposed to her, and then married.

On the wedding night, we see a wise mother advising her daughter within her domain, within her role as a mother, and in all her femininity.  She said to her daughter, "My dear, you are the last woman who needs advice, for I trust in your character.  But advice is good support for the heedless and a reminder for the wise.  Tomorrow, you will go into a home you do not know and a companion you are not familiar with.  Be his servant, and he will be yours.  Keep in mind ten qualities that will be a treasure for you." The mother continued, "The first and second are to live with him in obedience, compliance, and be content with sufficiency.  The third and fourth are to care for what pleases his eyes and nose, so his eyes do not fall on anything unpleasant from you, and he smells only the finest fragrance from you.  The fifth and sixth are to be mindful of his meal times and maintain calm during his sleep, for disturbing sleep angers, and hunger's heat inflames.  The seventh and eighth are to manage his wealth and care for his household and dependents.  The ninth and tenth are not to reveal his secrets or disobey his commands, for if you reveal his secrets, you cannot trust his loyalty, and if you disobey his commands, you will provoke his anger.  After that, beware of showing joy when he is sad or sadness when he is joyful."

Umm Iyas went to her husband with this advice, bore him sons and daughters, and lived happily with him, and he with her.

This advice from a mother demonstrates the utmost intelligence and rationality, but in what?  In the domain of her task.  Allah grants a woman rationality and gives her a domain, and such rationality is ideally suited for her domain.  

May Allah grant you peace at your home and tranquillity with your family.  Join us next week as we continue the Tafsir of Aya 32 of Surah An-Nisaa.