Quran Garden

Session 450

Chapter 3

Verse 119

A continuation

Ah!  Here you are: you love them, but they do not love you, and you believe in the entire Scripture.  When they meet you, they say, "We believe," but, when they are alone, they bite their fingertips in rage at you.  Say, "Die of rage!" God knows exactly what is hidden in everyone's hearts.  (Chapter 3: Verse 119)

What is the best way to deal with people who harm you, anger you, or try to deviate you from God's path?  Abdullah ibn Massoud had an incredibly loud neighbor, and the noise became very disruptive to the day-to-day life of Abdullah and his family.  Whenever he tried to talk to his neighbor to resolve the issue, the neighbor would curse at him and become even louder.  Finally, Ibn Massoud went to Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, and said, "My neighbor harms me, curses at me, and makes life miserable." Our beloved Muhammad said, "Your neighbor has disobeyed God with regards to your rights, so respond by obeying God with regards to his rights." 

We learn a very profound lesson from this story.  When you, as a believer, want to confront the hostility of your opponents, you should start by increasing your favor towards them.  This seems counter-intuitive, but it is an excellent strategy.  How, you may ask?  We answer that, when you treat your enemies well, one of two things will happen: the first is that they will recognize their error and love your faith, the second is that your good actions will increase their anger and bitterness.  Either way you win and, most importantly, you will do so while staying true to God's teachings.  Do not allow the other person to turn you towards evil.  Stay in control and try not to respond to sin with sin, which admittedly is not easy.  This is how the companions of our beloved Muhammad behaved; they were solid mountains of faith.  The opponents of Islam disobeyed God by mistreating the Muslims, but the Muslims responded to harm with good treatment.  The moment the opponents of Islam realized that their plot had failed miserably, they fell into the abyss of anger and rage.  God says, "When they are alone, they bite their fingertips in rage at you.  Say, 'Die of rage!' God knows exactly what is hidden in everyone's hearts."

When someone is angry, it usually shows through their words as they curse and raise their voice.  You should fear the angry person who does not display any reaction because he stores his emotions and controls them, and you do not know when or how they will erupt.  Thus, it is said, "Fear the anger of the tolerant." 

Let's look at how Islam teaches you to act when angry.  Allah does not want you to be an emotionless person like a deaf stone; instead, He brings balance to your life.  Listen to the following guidelines on how to act when angry.  God says:

Those who give, both in prosperity and adversity, who restrain their anger and pardon people –God loves those who do good.  (3:134)

Allah, your Creator, knows that life is full of events that will make you angry; a person who never gets angry is not normal.  Thus, God wants you to recognize these natural human emotions and display them in a disciplined manner.  We have a great example in our beloved Muhammad.  When his son Ibrahim died, he, peace be upon him, said, "The eyes shed tears, and the heart grieves for your departure.  We will not say except what pleases our Lord, o Ibrahim!  Indeed we are grieved by your separation." This is how the Messenger of God combined emotions with faith, even under the toughest circumstance of the death of his son.  His eyes filled with tears and his heart with sadness, but his tongue only said what pleases the Lord.  Allah describes the balanced believer in the following verse:

You who believe, if you renege on your faith, God will soon replace you with people He loves and who love Him, people who are humble towards the believers, hard on the disbelievers, and who strive in God's way without fearing anyone's reproach.  Such is God's favor.  He grants it to whoever He will.  God has endless bounty and knowledge.  (5:54)

Take note that a believer is not required to be humble all the time or harsh every day.  Instead, a balanced person reacts according to the situation.  God says:

Muhammad is the Messenger of God.  Those who follow him are harsh towards the disbelievers and compassionate towards each other.  You see them kneeling and prostrating, seeking God's bounty and His good pleasure: on their faces they bear the marks of their prostrations.  This is how they are pictured in the Torah and the Gospel: like a seed that puts forth its shoot, becomes strong, grows thick, and rises on its stem to the delight of its sowers.  So God infuriates the disbelievers through them; God promises forgiveness and a great reward to those who believe and do righteous deeds.  (48:29)

When a believer is with the believers, he or she is merciful but, when facing the enemies of faith, firmness and strength are required.  The key is to control when and where to display each emotion.  God says in Aya 134 of Al Imran:

If you have to retaliate, make your response proportionate.  But, if you endure patiently, it is indeed better for the patient.  (16:126)

And, in another chapter:

Those who restrain their anger and pardon people –God loves those who do good.  (3:134)

Did you notice how God did not go against your human nature?  If you are wronged, Allah gives you the right to stand up for your rights and punish those who wronged you.  Just ensure that your response is measured because being too lenient may encourage the disbelievers to take advantage of you, and being too harsh opens you to legal responsibility.  You have the full right to punish to the same degree that you have been wronged, not more. 

Allah, however, invites you to rise to a higher level, the level of restraint and patience.  He says, "But if you endure patiently, it is indeed better for the patient."

Do you want to soar even higher?  Listen to the following verse:

 Those who give, both in prosperity and adversity, who restrain their anger and pardon people –God loves those who do Ihsan.  (3:134)

Let's review the Islamic ways you can respond when someone hurts or wrongs you, whether they are believers or not.  First, you can respond in kind and punish fairly; this is justice and satisfies your anger.  Second, you can rise to a level above and restrain your anger.  For example, if someone insults you, you walk away from the situation without insulting them back.  This requires more effort because you still feel angry, yet choose not to express it or act impulsively.  Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, said, "The strong man is not the one who wrestles and overpowers others, but the strong man is the one who controls himself when angry." Third, you can pardon and, thus, rise to the highest level of Ihsan.  In other words, you let go of the feelings of anger altogether and make your heart as pure as it was before the incident.  God says, "And pardon people –God loves those who do Ihsan." This is the summit of faith.  

Do you still find it difficult to let go of your anger?  I would like to remind you that the person who wrongs you is doing you a favor and bringing God closer to you.  I mentioned this example recently, but it is worth repeating.  Let's say that you have two children, and you are watching them play with Legos.  Your youngest child seems jealous of the nice car the older one built, so he goes and starts bothering, then he steps on the car and breaks it.  The youngest kid has satisfied his feeling of jealousy, but how did that make you feel as a parent?  How do you feel about the older child who was wronged?  You will sympathize with the oppressed child and try to make it up for him.  You may buy him a new toy or sit down with him to build an even better car.  In short, the unjust child may have temporarily harmed his brother, but he brought him closer to you. 

A righteous man was asked, "How can you tolerate doing good for the person who harmed you so much?" He answered, "Should I not be grateful for the person who brought God closer to me?"