Tafsir Surah Al Imran: Family of Imran - Verse 119 - Toxic Friends
هَا أَنْتُمْ أُولَاءِ تُحِبُّونَهُمْ وَلَا يُحِبُّونَكُمْ وَتُؤْمِنُونَ بِالْكِتَابِ كُلِّهِ وَإِذَا لَقُوكُمْ قَالُوا آمَنَّا وَإِذَا خَلَوْا عَضُّوا عَلَيْكُمُ الْأَنَامِلَ مِنَ الْغَيْظِ قُلْ مُوتُوا بِغَيْظِكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ بِذَاتِ الصُّدُورِ
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Session 449
Chapter 3
Verse 119
Ah! Here you are: you love them, but they do not love you, and you believe in the entire Scripture. When they meet you, they say, "We believe," but when they are alone, they bite their fingertips in rage at you. Say, "Die of rage!" God knows exactly what is hidden in everyone's hearts. (Chapter 3: Verse 119)
Verse 118 of Al Imran ended with the phrase, "We have certainly made the signs clear for you, should you apply reason." The conversation was –and still is– about the Bitanah, which are the people you choose to be your close friends and confidants. Allah's warning is crystal clear: if you surround yourself with the wrong group, they will corrupt your faith.
Let's examine this unfair and exhausting relationship. The believers who tasted the sweetness of faith wanted to extend the amazing experience to their close family and friends, so they worked hard to introduce them to Islam and mend their behavior. On the other hand, the disbelievers did not want faith for themselves and hated it in others, so they worked hard to pull their friends away from God's path. This gives us clues to understand the phrase "Ah! Here you are: you love them, but they do not love you." The believers loved the disbelievers as their fellow humans and wanted their friends and family to experience the comforts of faith in this world and the next. This is true love. But did the disbelievers show them love as well? No, because they tried to deviate the believers away from God, showing a lack of care and affection.
Thankfully, their attempts failed. As a last resort, they turned to hypocrisy and said, "We believe." It was their only hope to corrupt Islam from within. As dangerous as hypocrisy is, we should look at it as an indicator of the strength of the Muslims. How, you may ask? We answer that you lie and try to deceive someone only if you are afraid to confront them directly. At the dawn of Islam in Mecca, there was no hypocrisy because the Muslims were few and weak. Their enemies confronted them directly with torture, boycott, and physical attacks. When Islam grew stronger in Medina, the enemies changed tactics, and the hypocrites were born. Hence, the presence of hypocrisy in Medina was a healthy phenomenon that indicated a strengthening community; even those with no faith started to claim it. God says:
Some of the desert Arabs around you are hypocrites, and some of the people of Medina are adamant in their hypocrisy. You do not know them, but We know them. We will punish them twice over and then they will be returned to a terrible punishment. (9:101)
Despite the hatred in the hearts of the disbelievers, they found no alternative but to adopt hypocrisy: "When they meet you, they say, 'We believe,' but, when they are alone, they bite their fingertips in rage at you." What is biting? Linguistically it is the meeting of the jaws over something to chew and break apart. Our fingertips perform countless functions with unbelievable delicacy and agility. Fingertips are the most densely innervated area of the human body. Biting one's fingers can only come from an involuntary emotional state because the brain does not normally allow damaging its most important tool. Only extreme hatred and anger can cause you to overlook the pain. Where did this level of anger come from? The disbelievers were infuriated because they failed to deviate the believers even a bit from their religion. Instead, the opposite was happening! The believers tirelessly invited them to the light of faith. Even when the disbelievers became insiders to play the role of Bitanah and damage faith from within, they failed and were loaded with anger that had no outlet. And, because of this bottled-up rage, they eventually lost it. God says, "When they are alone, they bite their fingertips in rage at you."
Since the hypocrites could not express their true feelings publicly, the only outlet available was their private meetings, where they announced their anger. Had they an iota of rationality, they would have thought, "How did the Quran know what we did in private? How did Muhammad expose our secrets?" They should have realized that there is a Lord Who delivers to His Messenger and informs the believers. But, despite the clear signs, they were blinded by hatred. God says, "'Die of rage!' God knows exactly what is hidden in everyone's hearts." The phrase "Die of rage!" is a clear message that the Muslims will remain firm on their faith, and the hypocrites will spend the rest of their lives in futile anger. This is also good news for the believers because Allah informs them that they are implementing their faith correctly and will remain on the straight path to Paradise. "God knows exactly what is hidden in everyone's hearts."