Quran Garden

Session 253

Chapter 2

Verse 234

If any of you die and leave widows, the widows should wait for four months and ten nights before remarrying.  When they have completed this set time, you will not be blamed for anything they may reasonably choose to do with themselves. God is fully aware of what you do. (Chapter 2: Verse 234)

‘Iddah’ is the waiting period God prescribed for the woman after the marriage ends in divorce or after the death of the husband. 

The waiting period after divorce is three complete menstrual cycles.  If the divorcee is in menopause or does not menstruate, then the waiting period is three months.  After this period ends, the husband loses the right to get back together with his wife, unless there is a new contract and dowry.  This applies to cases of first and second divorces.  If all three divorces have been pronounced, then even the right of remarrying the ex-wife with a new contract and dowry is lost.  It will not be allowed unless the woman marries another man properly -without the ulterior motive of getting back with her first husband-. 

As for the ‘iddah’ waiting period of a widow, God set it at four months and ten days if she is not pregnant.  If she is pregnant, then her ‘iddah’ is the longer of the two: either four months and ten days, or when she gives birth.  To clarify this further, let’s consider the example of a woman who is nine months pregnant, and her husband dies.  If she delivers her baby a week later, does it mean that her waiting period has ended? No, rather the farthest term should be considered; in this case, it would be four months and ten days.  As for cases of divorce, the waiting period ends when the divorced woman gives birth; even if she gives birth one day after the divorce is finalized. 

Some people argue that the sole purpose of the waiting period is to determine if the woman is pregnant by the deceased husband.  We answer that if the purpose of the ‘iddah’ was to determine if the woman is pregnant, then her waiting period would have been three menstrual periods, or when she is medically certified as not pregnant.  But God –the All-wise- specified four months and ten days for many reasons, one of which is pregnancy.  Other reasons, such as fulfilling the husband’s rights and allowing time for emotional recovery also apply.  The woman must not beautify herself, go out of her home for pleasure, or promise to marry.  But when the four months and ten days have passed, the woman is free to adorn herself and accept marriage proposals.   God says: “When they have completed this set time, you will not be blamed for anything they may reasonably choose to do with themselves.” 

Here, we should take careful note of the words God used in this verse.  He says: “When they have completed this set time, you will not be blamed for anything they may reasonably choose to do with themselves.”  Logically, the verse should have read: ‘When they have completed this set time, they will not be blamed for anything they may reasonably choose to do with themselves.”  In other words, when it came to assigning blame, God did not single out the grieving woman, He addressed the entire society.  Why? We answer that each believing woman has a family and a guardian supporting her.  Hence, if the family sees in her behaviour something contrary to God’s commands, they have a responsibility and a right to intervene.  For example, if a father sees his daughter beautifying herself or considering marriage proposals during her iddah waiting period, he should advise and question her about this behaviour.  The guardian must not say : ‘I have nothing to do with her,’ or ‘this is the way she is grieving.’  The proper application of God’s teachings is a communal responsibility.  The Almighty says:

By the declining day! Indeed humankind is in loss, except for those who believe, do good deeds, urge one another to the truth, and urge one another to steadfastness.

(Chapter 103)

“urge one another to the truth” explains that each one of us is an adviser and each one us is a student who learns from the advice of others.  So, if you see weakness in another person, then take a moment to advise him or her kindly.  Likewise, if someone sees you making a mistake, then he or she should remind you of the right thing to do.  You should receive the advice of others with an open mind.  If we all advise one another, then each one of us will fare better.  

Another lesson from the verse “except for those who believe, do good deeds, urge one another to the truth, and urge one another to steadfastness” is that all people are allowed to advise others and to listen to advice from others.  Giving advice is not specific to a certain group of people, a government agency, or moral police because we all commit sins and errors.   That is why, in the verse under study, God made the general statement: “When they have completed this set time, you will not be blamed for anything they may reasonably choose to do with themselves.” 

The verse concludes with: “God is fully aware of what you do.”  Allah is aware of our hidden actions, and He is aware of our deepest intentions even if no one in the community knows.  Suppose that a woman secretly acted against God’s teachings during her iddah waiting period and got away with it; she must know that God is fully aware of her actions. 

Through all of the previous legislation, Allah protected the rights of the husband and the wife.  Moreover, the waiting period preserves the dignity of the woman and provides her a shield of protection.  How, you may ask? We answer that a woman –especially after a divorce- may have feelings of resentment and a desire for revenge, so she may rush to get married.  Or perhaps other men want to take advantage of a woman while she is emotionally distraught after her husband’s death.  Overwhelming emotions often cloud her judgment.  Thus, Allah imposed a mandatory waiting period –called Iddah- to protect the woman’s interests.