Quran Garden

Session 250

Chapter 2

Verses 230 & 231

If a husband re-divorces his wife after the second divorce, she will not be lawful for him until she has taken another husband; if the latter husband divorces her, there will be no blame if she and the first husband return to one another, provided they feel that they can keep within the bounds set by God. These are God’s bounds, which He makes clear for those who know. (Chapter 2: Verse 230)

In verse 229, God mentioned that "divorce is twice" and continued: “then, the wife may be retained honourably with courtesy or released with good will.”  In verse 230, Allah is elaborating on the issue of “release with good will.”  He says: “If a husband re-divorces his wife after the second divorce, she will not be lawful for him until she has taken another husband.”   

This shows that when matters between the couple escalate into an on again, off again marriage, there is a point from which there is no return.  In other words, they must be taught a harsh lesson by making it extremely difficult for the couple to get back together.  Allah permitted reconciliation after the first and second divorces; He also allowed a reunion after the waiting period is over with a new contract and dowry.  But the third divorce has no revocation.  The only way to get back to each other would be for the woman to properly marry another man, live with him, and then get a divorce.   

Some people try to go around God’s teachings.  They believe that a woman who has been divorced three times can ceremonially marry another man; this marriage is followed by a quick divorce so the woman can go back to her ex-husband.  We answer that such practices are not recognized in Islam.  Marrying another man with the intention of going back to re-marry the ex-husband is prohibited.  This sort of sham marriage does not absolve the woman from the requirement to marry another man before returning to her former husband.  God says: “she will not be lawful for him until she has taken another husband; if the latter husband divorces her, there will be no blame if she and the first husband return to one another.”

A proper marriage with the full intention of living together is required.  The marriage should be the result of the couple meeting under normal circumstances –not for ulterior motives-.   If this marriage fails, and the divorce happens for legitimate reasons, then the woman and the ex-husband can get back together in a new marriage contract.  God further stipulates: “there will be no blame if she and the first husband return to one another, provided they feel that they can keep within the bounds set by God.”  In other words, the couple can get back together given that the previous issues that lead to their divorce have been appropriately resolved. 

Now we move to the next verse in ‘The Cow.’  God says:

When you divorce women and they have reached the end of their term, then either keep them in a fair manner or release them in a fair manner.  Do not hold on to them with intent to harm them and commit aggression: anyone who does this wrongs himself. Do not make a mockery of God’s revelations; remember the favour He blessed you with, and the Scripture and wisdom He sent to teach you. Be mindful of God and know that He has full knowledge of everything. (Chapter 2: Verse 231)

Let’s study the phrase: “and they have reached the end of their term.” We ask: Once the term of the waiting period has ended, is there even an option of retaining according to honourable terms? Or is releasing the only option?  We answer that the verb “reached” translated from the Arabic origin “balaghna  بَلَغْنَ” can have one of two meanings:  It could mean getting very close to the end -almost reaching your goal-, or it could mean that you have already reached the end and passed the finish line.  For example, if you are traveling to visit a friend in Istanbul, you may send your friend a message stating that ‘you have arrived’ as soon as you enter the city borders, although you have not reached your friend’s home yet.  Here is another example from the Quran; God says in the 6^th verse of chapter 5:

O you who have faith! When you stand up for prayer, wash your faces and your hands up to the elbows, and wipe a part of your heads and your feet, up to the ankles.

The intended meaning here is not to do ablution as you are in prayer, but to do it right before you pray.  Similarly, in the verse under study, the phrase “When you divorce women and they have reached the end of their term” could mean ‘as the waiting period is about to end,’ or it could mean ‘as the term have actually ended.’  The intended meaning can be understood from the context of the verse. 

Let’s look at the context.  God says “When you divorce women and they have reached the end of their term, then either keep them in a fair manner or release them in a fair manner.”  Here we understand that the man has divorced his wife, but her waiting period did not end yet; it is near completion.  There is still a choice either to end the marriage on honourable terms or to get back together on honourable terms.  Allah wants to keep the door of reconciliation open until the very last minute.  The man can reconsider and bring back the family unit preserving a home for the children. 

More importantly, Allah wants the couple to solve their own problems.  In the very next verse He says: “When you divorce women and they have reached the end of their term, do not prevent them from remarrying their husbands if they both agree to do so in a fair manner.”  Allah leaves the decision for separation or getting back together exclusively in the hands of the couple with no outside interference.  Why, you may ask? We answer that, more often than not, when a third party interferes, the situation is aggravated.  People such as parents or siblings do not have the emotional connection the couple shares.  They do not consider the intimacy and tenderness of the husband towards his wife, or the wife towards her husband.  These emotional, psychological, and physical matters play a significant role in solving marital problems.  A man who is attracted to his wife’s beauty may forget about their problems.  A woman may see something in her husband that she does not want to lose.  

That is why I always advise for disputes to remain confined between the husband and wife.  God made an emotional desire between them, and this desire is often the reason for reconciliation.  Moreover, God has stipulated that divorce should not occur during menstruation because there is no intimacy at that time.  In fact, divorce should happen between two menstrual periods where intercourse did not occur.  In other words, the decision to divorce must occur when the couple has access to intimacy with each other.