Quran Garden

Today, we begin the tafseer of Aya 34 of Surah An-Nisa.  Regrettably, some men misuse this Aya to justify mistreating women, and some women harbor resentment towards it.  Both are deeply mistaken.  If you take the time to understand the words of our Lord, you will discover the true beauty and wisdom behind them.  Let's begin.      

Session 597

Chapter 4

Verse 34

Men are the caretakers of women, because of the advantage God has granted some of over others, and by virtue of their spending out of their wealth.  Righteous wives are devout, safeguarding their husbands' interests in their absence as God has guarded them.  As for those wives whose misconduct you fear, advise them, keep away from them in bed, and beat them.  Then, if they obey you, do not seek any course of action against them.  Indeed, God is the most-high, the great.  (Chapter 4: Verse 34)

Many scholars interpret this verse only in the context of a husband and his wife, even though the wording is precise: "Men are the caretakers of women," addressing men and women in general.  The father is the caretaker of his daughters, the brother of his sisters, and the husband of his wife.  

But what does "caretaker" exactly mean?  Does it give men superiority?  Is it a burden on women?  We answer that Allah is presenting us with a universal principle, for He is the knowledgeable Creator who perfected everything.  Some women fear and disagree with this verse, yet if one of them is not blessed with a male child, she would be upset.  If we ask her why, she would say, "I want a son to protect us." How, then, do you oppose this matter?

The term "caretaker" is translated from the Arabic "قوَّام" which is the exaggerated form of "قائم" "قائم" means a person who stands up and manages.  "قوَّام" indicates a person who is exceedingly responsible for the needs of another.  The word implies effort and hard work.  When you say, "So-and-so is the caretaker in charge of the people," it means he never rests.  So why take "Men are the caretakers of women" as oppression or even suppression!?  Does it mean that women should serve men?  Why not take it as God intended:  The man is tasked with the responsibility of ensuring the welfare of women.  

God continues, "because of the advantage God has granted some over others." What is the basis of this preference?  We answer that the man is tasked with work, traveling the earth, and striving for a livelihood to provide women with a decent life.  We find a great example in the story of our beloved Adam and Eve.  Allah warned both about Satan, who was commanded to prostrate with the angels to Adam but refused.  Satan clearly displayed his enmity toward Adam before all to see.  God says, 

When We said to the angels, "prostrate before Adam," they all bowed down, but not Iblis.  He retorted, "Why should I prostrate to someone You have created out of clay?" (Chapter 17:Verse 61)

God emphasized to Adam: Remember this enmity and know that satan will never leave you in peace.  He'll keep on trying to lure you into disobedience because he does not want to be the only sinner but seeks to drag you down with him.  God says,   

So We said, 'Adam, this is your enemy, yours and your wife's: do not let him drive you out of the garden and into hardship. (Chapter 20:Verse 117)

Let's focus on the phrase, "do not let him drive you out of the garden and into hardship." In Arabic grammar, there are masculine and feminine pronouns that address the singular, the plural, and pronouns that address the dual.  Meaning, when you address two people, you do not use the singular nor the plural, but a special pronoun.  God spoke the phrase "do not let him drive you out of the garden" in the dual addressing both Adam and Eve, but used the singular masculine pronoun when he said, "and into hardship." Why?  Because when it comes to toiling and suffering on earth, the woman is shielded, and the address was directed to the man.  This suggests that being the قوَّام "caretaker" in charge is a demanding responsibility that requires considerable effort.

We also notice that when speaking of preference, Allah says, "Men are the caretakers of women, because of the advantage God has granted some over others." He did not say, 'because of the advantage God has granted men over women.' Why?  Because while Allah favored the man as being in charge, He also favored the woman with being a source of tranquility for the man when he rests, and the fountain of life as she bears children.

The verse continues, "and by virtue of their spending out of their wealth." Wealth is the fruit of labor.  To those who work hard and earn a living, we say, "You are the caretaker." Women should be happy with such an arrangement, because Allah assigned the hardship to men, the gender with more strength, resolve, and firmness.  A woman is assigned another significant task: building a home and raising the next generation.  This is also ideally suited to her qualities: gentleness, compassion, and tenderness.  

I want to remind you that our discussion is not limited to a husband and wife, but also applies to other relationships, such as fathers and daughters, brothers and sisters, and so on.  More importantly, the role of 'caretaker' is not about wielding control, but about embracing the challenges and responsibilities for the well-being of those under the man's care.

The Aya continues, "and by virtue of their spending out of their wealth." In marriage, men and women equally enjoy the physical and emotional pleasures of intimacy, companionship, and parenthood.  Yet, Allah assigned the financial duties as the man's responsibility, starting with the dowry.  Even if the woman is wealthy, God's law does not obligate her to contribute to the family or even lend her husband money.  We ask: Is this arrangement unfair to women?!

Now that we discussed men's responsibilities, we can turn our attention to women's.  Join us next week for the continuation of the Tafsir of this important Aya.  We're deeply grateful for your time and engagement as we take this journey of understanding divine wisdom together.  Thank you for being part of QuranGarden.