Quran Garden

Do you want a happy married life with wonderful children?  Allah’s teachings bring peace and balance to humanity, specifically between males and females.  Through Islam, you can ensure harmonious realtionships, pure lineage, and provide your kids a healthy environment to flourish.  Let’s explore how.          

Session 593

Chapter 4

Verse 32

Do not wish what God has given to some of you more than others- men have the portion they have earned; and women the portion they have earned- You should ask God for some of His bounty: He has full knowledge of everything. (Chapter 4: Verse 32)

When a species is divided into two types, like humans, each type has commonalities and distinct differences with the other.  It’s like having two sides of the same coin, distinct yet perfectly complementing the other.  Within these roles, each person is unique, blessed with specific talents and expertise.  So when humanity is divided into genders, male and female traits become essential.  God didn’t create us with identical physical attributes, instead He gave us unique characteristics, while maintaining our shared human essence.

Those, particularly in the West, who champion gender equality, must understand the special roles designed by God: Men and women excel in different areas because of their distinct natures.  Demanding absolute equality overlooks these roles, potentially overloading men and women with tasks beyond their capacity, and leaving the essential roles they enjoynmet.

However, regardless of your gender or role, Allah blessed you with independant thought and freewill.  No person or sex imposes his or her beliefs on the other.  Let’s look through the Quran for examples that illustrate how each person, regardless of gender, has free choice and ultimate responsibility for their faith.  Listen to the following Aya,

God has given examples of disbelievers: the wives of Noah and Lot who married two of Our righteous servants but betrayed them. Their husbands could not help them against God: it was said, "Both of you enter the Fire with the others." (66:10)

Two Prophets of God could not convience their wives to choose faith!  Why?  Because Allah created every human with their own mind and the absolute freedom of choice in faith; no one is bound to follow another.  Here is another compelling example.  God says,

God has also given examples of believers: Pharaoh’s wife, who said, "Lord, build me a house near You in the Garden. Save me from Pharaoh and his actions; save me from the evildoers."  (66:11)

Pharaoh, who claimed to be a god, could not force his wife to believe in him!  Thus, in matters of belief, men and women are equal; each is responsible to engage in thought and reflection.  

A woman might provide insight that eludes many men.  Is there any better example than the advice of Umm Salamah, the wife of our beloved Muhammad, during the Treaty of Hudaybiyyah? When the Prophet sought to make peace, many companions, including Umar, were very upset.  Umar loudly objected, "How could we accept this dishonor in our religion!?" Abu Bakr advised, "Mind your place, Umar, for he is the Messenger of God." The Prophet, distressed by the situation returned to his tent.  Umm Salamah sensed the great burden of her husband.  He, peace be upon him, told her, “Don’t you not see how I command the people, but they do not do it, even though they hear my words and see my face?!  Past nations have parished for disobeying their messenger.”  Umm Salamah advised, “O Messenger of Allah, do not blame them, for a grave matter has entered their hearts: a peace treaty and a return without a victory or a visit to the Holy house.  Go out, do not speak a word, and do as you were commanded.  Slaughter your animal, shave your head, and lead them by example.”  The prophet did as Umm Salamah suggested, and, slowly, but surely, all the companions followed.  Her wisdom helped save the day.  

Allah showered the believers with mercy, and this mercy came through Umm Salamah.  Later, God explained the reason behind this seemingly bad deal.  He says,

They were the ones who disbelieved, who barred you from the Sacred Mosque, and who prevented the offering from reaching its place of sacrifice. If there had not been among them, unknown to you, believing men and women whom you would have trampled underfoot, inadvertently incurring guilt on their account- God brings whoever He will into His mercy- if the believers had been clearly separated, We would have in?icted a painful punishment on the disbelievers. (48:25)

There were many Muslims in mecca who concealed their faith.  In fact, in a disbelieving household there might be one believer or more.  Had the Muslims marched into Mecca that year, they may have killed their own unknowingly; it would have been a disaster.  Once the reasons behind the treaty of Hudaybiyyah were clear, everyone understood.  But even before such clarity, Umm Salamah had the wisdom and maturity to realize that following God’s messenger is key, even when things appear wrong.

We find another story in the Quran highlighting the wisdom of a great leader: Bilqees, the Queen of Sheeba.  She faced the grave challenge of a man threatening to shake her kingdom.  She wonderd, “Is he seeking power and wealth?” Listen to the following Ayat,

She said, "Council! a noble letter has been delivered to me. It is from Solomon, and it says, 'In the name of God, the most merciful, the most benevolent.  Do not put yourselves above me, and come to me in submission to God.'"  She said, "Council! give me your opinion about this matter. It is not my habit to make a final decision until I have heard what you have to say." They replied, "We possess great force and power in war, but you are in command, so consider what orders to give us." She said, "When kings enter a city, they lay waste to it and make its mightiest inhabitants the most abased." Such indeed are their ways. (27:29-34)

It is clear that Bilqees presided over a well-run country where military men follow the commands and decisions of the civil leadership, just like modern 21^st century states.  She was the wise calm leader who can assess situations without the zeal or impulsiveness of combat warriors.  The army entrusted her with political decisions.  She thought, “I will test this man –Solomon- to see whether he seeks power and wealth or is he truly a man of faith.”  So she sent him lavish gifts.  The verses continue,

"I will send them a gift and then wait and see what the messengers bring back."  When her envoy came to Solomon, Solomon said, ‘What! Are you offering me wealth? What God has given me is better than what He has given you! It is only people such as you who would rejoice in this gift of yours. (27:35-36)

Bilqees realized that power and wealth were not Solomon’s goal, and later understood that he was a bearer of a message.  She decided to meet with him and later accepted Islam to the One God. 

Take note of the words she used that highlight the faith of great woman and a leader of proud people.  She said, “I submit myself, with Solomon, to God, the Lord of the Worlds” (27:44.)  She did not say, ‘I will follow Solomon, or I submit to Solomon,’ instead, “I submit myself, with Solomon, to God” meaning He and I are equal in submission before Allah.  This is the elevation of faith and pride of a people; there is no shame in it.  Bilqees was a woman whom Allah blessed with sound judgment or excellent conduct.  

It is important that men and women know the limits of their nature.  Men differ than women in physical structure and more.  A man has ruggedness, firmness, and strength, while a woman has gentleness, softness, and charm, with overflowing emotion and abundant compassion.  Each clearly created for a specific role.  

Islam respcts and nourishes these roles: Women can enjoy silk and gold while men are forbidden such luxuries.  Islam requires a woman to be a source of tranquility for a man.  Why? Because man is given the task of the struggles of life outside, and when he returns to his home, he enjoys peace with his wife.  The blacksmith sharpens the sword and wields it, while the brave warrior fights with it; each has a role complements the other and if one drops the ball, the war is lost.  God says,

Another of His signs is that He created spouses from among yourselves for you to live with in tranquillity: He ordained love and kindness between you. There truly are signs in this for those who re?ect. (30:21)