Quran Garden

Are you ready to transform your perspective on marriage and balance in relationships?  Dive into the Divine wisdom of how equality in social and financial backgrounds sets the stage for a harmonious marriage.  Let's unlock the secrets to authentic connection!   

Session 575

Chapter 4

Verse 25

a continuation

If any of you is not able to marry a believing free woman, let them marry believing maidens from among those whom your right hands possess.  God knows best your faith: you are all part of the same family- so marry them with their guardian's consent and give them their due compensation as is customary as married women, not adulteresses or lovers.  If they commit adultery when they are married, their punishment will be half that of free women.  This is for those of you who are afraid of hardship.  But being patient is better for you.  God is most forgiving and merciful.  (Chapter 4: Verse 25)

Marriage is the joining of a man and a woman to form the foundation of a family.  When both husband and wife are from relatively equal social and financial backgrounds, neither feels superior to the other, and life can move on reasonably well-balanced.  God says,

Corrupt women are for corrupt men, and corrupt men are for corrupt women; good women are for good men, and good men are for good women.  The good are innocent of what has been said against them; they will have forgiveness and a generous provision.  (24:26)

Some people question: how come God states, "Corrupt women are for corrupt men," while life teaches us that many good women are married to vile men and vice-versa?  You probably know an example from your own family!  We answer that there is a difference between God stating a universal fact on the one hand and issuing a command on the other.  In this Aya, Allah is not stating a fact; instead, He is teaching us how to establish good marriages:  If we want balanced, peaceful relationships, we should pair good men with good women and vile men with vile women.  The phrase "Corrupt women are for corrupt men" is a command from God; it is up to us to obey or not.  For example, you may say to your son, "Our family always welcomes guests with open arms, and whoever knocks on our door is welcomed and honored."  Your statement is a command to your son to be hospitable, but does it mean that he will follow?  Not necessarily.  If he wants to be a good son, he will.  But, if he is busy playing video games, he may not even answer the door when a guest knocks.

Why is it advised for corrupt men to marry corrupt women?  Because when a man is raised in a shady environment with a questionable past, his wife may use it against him in a fight, insulting him and his family.  If they are from equivalent backgrounds, He would snap back and say, "Well, your father is no better.  We all know he came from prisons." In such a case, there is a balance in negativity, and married life can continue.  Both can soften and reconcile differences.

This brings us back to the verse under study, where God is allowing but discouraging free men from marrying slave women.  He says, "If any of you is not able to marry a believing free woman, let them marry believing maidens from among those whom your right hands possess," then continues, "But being patient is better for you." Why?  To ensure balance in married life.  A free man, in a moment of anger, may be tempted to ridicule or abuse his wife.  God wants you to have a peaceful family life, which is why equity is emphasized.  Islam came to eradicate slavery and raise the status of every man and woman.  Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, taught us not to say "my slave" or "my slave-girl" but rather "my young man" and "my young woman."

Some have asked:  Is the phrase "Let them marry believing maidens from among those whom your right hands possess" directed at the owner?  The answer is no; she is already permissible to him by ownership; they are allowed sexual relations, and she can bear him children.  The reference here is to other Muslim men.  The phrase "from among those your right hands possess" addresses all the believers as a unit.  We find similar examples in the Quran.  God says in the 61^st verse of chapter 24,

So if you entered homes, greet yourselves a greeting from God, blessed and pure.

When you visit family and friends and enter their home, do you greet yourself?  Or do you say Salam to the occupants of the home?  "Greet yourselves" means to greet the residents of the home, signifies unity in faith, and encourages the believers to be one cohesive unit.  Similarly, "Believing maidens from among those whom your right hands possess" is directed to all the believers but not the owner. 

God treats this delicate matter with divine wisdom.  He has full knowledge of every human condition and addresses our needs with the ultimate goal of cleansing the society from slavery.  Let's look at the steps God took to ensure the dignity and respect of the slave woman. 

First, He addressed the issue of the men who may see a slave woman's faith as weak and fault her for it; God responds, "God knows best your faith: you are all part of the same family." In fact, a slave girl might have stronger faith than you.  Matters of the heart are known only to Allah.  

Second, the phrase "You are all part of the same family" serves as a reminder to those considering marriage that we are all descendants of Adam, united in blood and heritage.  If we share the faith of Islam, we are further united in creed.  Keep these facts in mind when seeking them in marriage.

Third is the command to "marry them with their guardian's consent."  God shifts the focus to the owner, instructing him to treat her like a family member, guard her honor as he would his own daughters, and compensate her for what she has lost.  Under Islam's care, she should feel as if she was with her family or better.  Listen to this beautiful Hadeeth.  Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, said: "Your servants are your brothers and sisters whom Allah has placed under your command.  Whoever has a person under his authority should feed him or her from what he eats, clothe him or her from what he wears, and not burden him or her with what they cannot bear.  If you do, then help them." This noble hadeeth equates the servant with the master, almost erasing all distinctions between the two.  If the servant wears the same quality clothes as the master, eats the same food, works hand in hand in difficult tasks, and is addressed as 'O my young man' or 'O my young woman,' what is left of slavery?!  Similarly, when it comes to marriage, the master must act like family. 

Fourth: Since she has a master, his interests must also be considered.  The owner must consent to the marriage, as he might depend on her service.  When the master's consent is sought, he accepts that intimate relations are no longer within his rights.  Her marital rights now belong to her husband.  All this occurs in the open, with everyone's knowledge, in an atmosphere of modesty and purity.  Why?  To prevent men and women from having affairs and lovers.  God says, "So marry them with their guardian's consent and give them their due compensation as is customary as married women, not adulteresses or lovers," emphasizing marriage's sanctity over sexual promiscuity. 

Lastly, regarding dowries, Allah specifies: "Give them their due compensation as is customary." Don't think that she is merely a slave and would accept anything for a dowry.  No!  She deserves a proper dowry that honors her.

Sadly, there are situations where married men and women have affairs.  Adultery threatens to break society's fabric, so the punishment must be harsh.  Please tune in next week as we cover the punishment for adultery and how it differs from one person to the next.