Quran Garden

Whether in or outside marriage, sexual relations are always exciting.  They are glamorized on TV shows and movies.  Today, we will compare the enjoyment of sexual relations within marriage to those outside it.   It is an important Tafsir you would not want to miss.  Let's get started.

Session 572

Chapter 4

Verse 24

a continuation

And the fortified from your women except what your rights possessed.  Such is the God's decree for you.  Other women are lawful to you, so long as you seek them in marriage, with gifts from your wealth, looking for wedlock rather than fornication.  If you wish to enjoy women through marriage, give them their due compensation as an obligation, though if you should choose mutually, after fulfilling this obligation, to do otherwise, you will not be blamed: God is all-knowing and all-wise.  (Chapter 4: Verse 24)

Today, I would like you to consider the difference in enjoyment, pleasure, and satisfaction between the Halal marriage and the Haraam casual sex.  We start with a man sitting with his family, looking at his wife; he feels at ease in closing the door and approaching her.  They can lose themselves in each other as they please.  If a guest knocks on the front door, the man would put on a robe, open the door, and welcome the guest into the house.  He is comfortable physically, socially, and psychologically.  If the wife gets pregnant, the news becomes a source of joy for the couple, their parents, aunts, uncles, and many more.

Now, contrast that with a man meeting a woman for an illicit relationship outside marriage.  They would spend days on secret phone communications to arrange the meeting place and time so spouses do not suspect.  On the way to the meeting, he would look nervously to ensure that no friend or co-worker accidentally recognized him.  During the relations, if someone knocks on the hotel room door, anxiety would go through the roof.  In short, while this man satisfies one desire, he is putting all other emotions in conflict.  You'd see him startled at every phone notification and doubting every question from his wife.  Why?  Because his faculties are not aligned, they are screaming that what he's doing is unnatural!  What happens if the mistress gets pregnant?  Abortion?  Abandonment?

Allah wants family life to be built on purity and security.  The halal gives you psychological tranquillity, physical pleasure, and satisfies all your emotional needs.  God says,

Other women are lawful to you, so long as you seek them in marriage, with gifts from your wealth, looking for wedlock rather than fornication.

Here is another scenario we mentioned before.  The father of a beautiful daughter who lives in a house facing a busy street notices a young man frequently passing by, trying to catch glimpses of his daughter.  How would the father react?  He would be livid and might resort to violence or call the police to get rid of him.  If this same young man came with his family, knocked on the front door, and requested the daughter's hand in marriage, "I wish to propose to your daughter," the father would have been thrilled.  He would consult his daughter, celebrate with the family, and plan an engagement party.  The same father who would not let any man glance at his daughter is now sending hundreds of guest invitations to her wedding!  A famous adage says, "The halal eradicates jealousy."  When sexual relations are sought according to the Creator's lawful command, the soul finds peace.  God says,

If you wish to enjoy women through marriage, give them their bride gift- this is obligatory-

We ask: Who precisely brings peace and contentment?  Who ignites the heart with passion and anger?  It is Allah who influences these emotions.  In a marriage contract, the words "I marry you" and "I accept" in the presence of witnesses affect the components of the soul, bringing peace and joy.  Whether it is a chemical change, hormonal, or spiritual, It is God's work.  Such joy and peace are outside our control.  This is how Allah establishes the family unit on a solid and pure foundation.  Halal relations are a gift from God, the Creator of both men and women.  He says,

Another of His signs is that He created spouses from among yourselves for you to live with in tranquility: He ordained love and kindness between you.  There truly are signs in this for those who re?ect.  (Chapter 30:Verse 21)

When aligned with divine law, the connection is harmonious; otherwise, it breeds discord and corruption.   Which would you choose for yourself?

Join us next week as we tackle the controversial topic of the temporary enjoyment of marriage (mut'ah).  Please subscribe and hit the bell icon to avoid missing any future Tafsir.