Quran Garden

In the previous session, we discussed the responsibilities God laid on men.  Today, we turn our attention to women: their role and responsibility in an Islamic society. 

Session 598

Chapter 4

Verse 34

a continuation

Men are the caretakers of women because of the advantage God has granted some over others, and by virtue of their spending out of their wealth.  Righteous wives are devout, safeguarding their husbands' interests in their absence as God has guarded them.  As for those wives whose high-handedness you fear, admonish them, keep away from them in bed, and beat them.  Then, if they obey you, do not seek any course of action against them.  Indeed, God is the most-high, the great.  (Chapter 4: Verse 34)

Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, said, "The world is all a provision, and the best provision of the world is a righteous woman."

In the previous session, we discussed the responsibilities God laid on men.  He says, "Men are the caretakers of women," then the Almighty followed by explaining the reasons, "because of the advantage God has granted some over others, and by virtue of their spending out of their wealth." We explained that caretaking is a heavy liability that requires considerable effort.

Now, Allah highlights women's responsibilities: "Righteous wives are devout, safeguarding their husbands' interests in their absence as God has guarded them." A good woman remains true to the path laid by her Creator.  The word "devout" is derived from the Arabic Qunoot, which refers to a person who is continuously obedient to God.  We also use Qunoot to describe the dua supplication we sometimes recite in the second rakaa of the morning Fajr prayer. 

A devoutly obedient woman is submissive to Allah, adhering to His teachings and the commands He decreed; Commands such as "Men are the caretakers of women" and "safeguarding their husbands' interests in their absence as God has guarded them." What does safeguarding the husband's interest mean?  We answer that when the protector and caretaker of a woman's honor, such as her father, brother, or husband, is away, the woman must guard their absence.  Our beloved Muahmmad, peace be upon him, established the principles for the righteous woman, saying: "The best of women is the one who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands, and does not counter him in herself or his wealth in ways he dislikes." What more could a man need!

Here is my advice to men: The phrase "if you look at her, she pleases you" should not be directed only toward physical beauty, but should encompass all the woman's good qualities.  Do not take one quality while neglecting another, for the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, warned us against that.  He said: "A woman is wed for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her faith.  Choose the one with faith, if you desire success."

Most young men are preoccupied with physical beauty.  However, if you think about it, beauty is the least significant and shortest-lived aspect of a woman, for its duration is typically a few months or years.  We call it a "honeymoon" because it lasts for a month or two, then fades.  At that point, other qualities start to emerge.  If you married a woman only for her beauty, thinking you won a model, you have deceived yourself.  Why?  Because in a few months, sexual activity will become routine.  What about her trustworthiness, loyalty, and household management?  Please open your eyes to the true aspects of beauty: her faith, warmth, trustworthiness, and obedience. 

Similarly, proper faith should be a woman's top priority when choosing a husband.  The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: "If someone proposes to you whose character and faith you are pleased with, then marry him.  If you do not, there will be temptation and widespread corruption on earth."

A father consulted our beloved Al-Hasan ibn Ali, the grandson of our beloved Muhammad, may Allah be pleased with them.  He asked for marriage advice for his daughter.  Al-Hasan replied: "Marry her to a man of good faith, for if he loves her, he will honor her, and if he dislikes her, he will not wrong her."

Here is my advice to women: If you want to succeed, excel within the framework of your nature.  If you have the time and energy, expand your role in caring for the family.  Learn to sew clothes for yourself and your children, saving money in the process.  Acquire nursing knowledge to care for your child if they fall ill, or consider tutoring to advance their education.  If you have the time and interest, you can fix a leaky faucet or a light switch.  All such tasks save money, which is better than making money, and serve as an excellent role model for the children.  More importantly, they are within the framework Allah set.  That is the meaning behind, "safeguarding their husbands' interests in their absence as God has guarded them." 

The Lord has honored you with a caretaker and protector whose responsibility is to meet your needs.  You, in turn, should guard your honor and your husband's wealth in his absence, avoiding the avenues through which temptation enters.  Do not go out to the streets except for necessary matters.  A righteous woman should not immerse herself in the hustle of life and then be told, "Guard in absence." Instead, consider what Allah has advised: if you must go out, lower your gaze.  God says,

Say to the believing women that they should lower their eyes and guard their private parts and not display their adornments – except for what normally shows – and draw their head-coverings across their breasts.  They should only display their adornments to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, other women, those they own as slaves, their male attendants who have no sexual desire, or children who still have no awareness of women's private parts.  They should not stamp their feet to draw attention to any hidden charms.  Believers, all of you, turn to God so that you may prosper.  (24:31)

Join us next week as we explore how temptation enters the mind and the best way to protect yourself and your family.