Quran Garden

Session 488

Chapter 3

Verse 159

a continuation

It was by some mercy of God that you were gentle with them.  If you had been rough or hard of heart, they would have scattered from around you.  So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them, and consult with them about the matter.  Then when you have reached a firm decision, put your trust in God.  God loves those who put their trust in Him.

(Chapter 3: Verse 159)

We start with the phrase, "If you had been rough or hard of heart, they would have scattered from around you." Our beloved Muhammad asked his people to change the habits they were comfortable with in the pre-Islamic era of ignorance.  Change is tough on people, and demanding it requires wisdom and kindness.  Whenever you try to wean someone off a habit or a lifestyle he or she is accustomed to, you should do so gently.  Why?  Because asking people to change implies that their current practices are wrong, and this indirect criticism is not easy to accept.  Moreover, changing a belief or a daily routine is difficult and burdensome.   Thus, giving advice is an art; you must do it tactfully with compassion and understanding. 

It is similar to what we do in modern medicine.  Drug makers wrap the bitter pill in a sugar coating to make it palatable and more likely for the patient to take.  If we do that in material matters, why not do the same in moral matters?  More often than not, giving advice turns into an argument, and neither side progresses.  Instead, people become angry with one another. 

Here is an interesting story to highlight this point:  A king saw in his dream that all his teeth had fallen out.  He woke up upset and sent for an interpreter to help decipher the vision.  It is a known fact that losing a tooth in a dream usually means the death of a loved one.  The interpreter told the king, "Since you lost all your teeth in the dream, all your family members will die soon."  The king got very upset and sent the interpreter to jail.  He then asked for another one to help him understand the dream.  The second interpreter was wise.  He looked at the king and said, "My liege, you will have the longest life among your family members." The king smiled and ordered him a nice reward.  Both interpreters gave the king the truth but in different words.  That's why they say: "The truth is bitter, so be kind when you tell it."

God says, "If you had been rough or hard of heart, they would have scattered from around you."  The word "rough" is translated from the Arabic (Fazz).  Fazz is the water a camel stores in its stomach.  Camels are known for drinking water in significant quantities, which is then stored in a special stomach for later use.  When travelers and caravans run out of water, they often slaughter a camel to quench their thirst with the water stored in it.  However, this water –called Fazz- has a very unpleasant taste and stench.  It is hardly palatable but necessary to save a life.  Similarly, the truth is essential for life, but people often perceive it as harsh and unpalatable if you are not careful.  Our beloved Muhammad, who was gentle and wise, understood this fact.  People used to gravitate to him because of his compassionate nature.  God says,

And indeed, you possess an exemplary character. (68:4)

The verse continues, "So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them, and consult with them about the matter." To pardon is to wipe away the violation completely.  This is different from overlooking or moving on, where you still have anger and resentment in your heart but choose to suppress it.  In fact, 'Pardon' is translated from the Arabic (Afu.)  It has its roots in the desert environment, where the wind completely erases the footprints left by travelers in the sand.   Keep in mind that our beloved Muhammad is not only a merciful person, but he is also the Messenger of God.  As a compassionate man, he pardons the faults of his people; and as the Messenger of God, he asks God to forgive them.  It is possible that a sinner may be forgiven by the person he or she wronged but still be a sinner in God's eyes.  Therefore, the Prophet Muhammad always asked God to forgive the companions.  God says, "So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them."

The Messenger of God was full of love for his people, even those who harmed and opposed him.  On many occasions, he, peace be upon him, asked forgiveness for his fiercest enemies.  God says,

Because they broke their promise to God, because of all the lies they told, He made hypocrisy settle in their hearts until the Day they meet Him. Do they not realize that God knows their secrets and their private discussions?  That God knows all that is hidden?  They taunt the believers, who give for God's sake more than they are duty-bound to give, as well as those who can find nothing to give except their hard toil.  They scoff at such people, but it is God who scoffs at them- a painful punishment awaits them.  It makes no difference whether you ask forgiveness for them or not: God will not forgive them even if you ask seventy times, because they reject God and His Messenger.  God does not guide those who rebel against Him. (9:77-80)